I Don't Expect You To Care This Time, But...

...that's right folks.

4 weeks (right after my first positive). I am not making this up...I had a feeling that I was pregnant when I woke up one morning, looked down, and saw that bump.

5 weeks (a bit more well hidden!).

6 weeks!

My first ultrasound, where I saw my little dot with a beating heart!

7 weeks and SLEEPY.

8 weeks, on a road trip, and having trouble hiding that bump!

Second ultrasound, HB of 152 and measuring right on track!

9 weeks and a bad angle, I was growing by the second!

10 weeks, and this is my photo! Our big reveal to the grandparents!

11 weeks and rockin' a faux beer belly!

12 weeks! My first big milestone!

Just look at that little munchkin! HB 152 and looking terrific!

SO, the deets!

I am over the moon excited, and still (after almost 13 weeks) shocked. Everything was going along smoothly and then, at exactly 7 months post partum, good ole Aunt Flow returned. I was so surprised! T and I had talked about potentially weaning Eileen at the end of October and then trying for a baby shortly after, but turns out, not necessary to bring back my cycle. After only period, we figured hey, why not give it a shot? And here we are!

At first I thought it was a joke. After months and months of struggling the first time, this time it just...happens? My doctor had mentioned that having Eileen would essentially affect a "reset" button in my body, and that we wouldn't know what that meant exactly until my cycle returned. Does this mean that my reset was to...normal? How strange to think.

As mentioned in the title, I do not expect you wonderful women to follow along with me this time. I know that many of you are still struggling and, believe it or not, I still think of you and pray for you daily. However, this space was originally created to be an outlet for my all things pregnancy...thoughts, symptoms, emotions, etc. I don't want to gyp my second baby out of fear, and at first, I was concerned I might let myself do that! But here I am. I have passed the first trimester (WOWZA) and I want to share this journey with my future child. If you wouldn't mind sparing a prayer for us, we would sure appreciate it.

I will try to keep these pretty brief, but just a short recap so far:

Had spotting in the beginning of this pregnancy, just like I have with every pregnancy. But, like with E, it was brown. That seems to be more reassuring. And it passed even more quickly than it did with E.
I have been on progesterone supplements since before my positive test. Because I tested positive for ovulation and had attempted pregnancy during that window, the doctor wanted me on supplements as a precaution. I'm currently weaning off of them and will be done next week, but I was grateful for the extra boost (even when the lozenges made me puke).
Morning sickness is no joke! Did not have much at all with Eileen, but with this little bugger (affectionately known as "sunny"), I've been throwing up and gagging non-stop. The puking seems to have ended, but the gagging and nausea has not. Fingers crossed that the second trimester brings me better luck in this department!
Have not had a huge appetite, but have been craving cheeseburgers. Like, big time! Again, much more specific than with E!
The fatigue of pregnancy + chasing a little one is REAL. Mamas out there, I know you hear me. You guys are awesome. And it is HARD WORK!
Obviously, stomach has popped out WAY faster! But I don't care! Weight gain has not been as rapid as with E because of morning sickness but, again, not a big concern. Bring it on, sunny!
Big time cramps and back aches. Doctor says that my body, which just "snapped back into shape," is now figuring out how to RE-expand into what it just grew out of. Confusing, right? Well, it hurts a little too!

And now, a brief rundown of this week, just to keep up with tradition.

How far along? 12 weeks and 5 days!

Clothing? Amazing not having to hide myself in a work wardrobe. Lots of leggings and baggy tops. Pants still fitting but not buttoning, nothing tight feels good, and underwire bras are starting to make me very uncomfortable.

Stretch marks? My stretchies from E are not even gone yet! Whatevs.

Sleep? Sleeping, but waking up from weird dreams constantly. Also peeing multiple times/night already.

Best moment of this week? Seeing my beautiful baby on the ultrasound, wiggling and heart beating away!!! Amazing, beautiful, perfect.

Worst moment of this week? Believe it or not, I still have my doubts and fears. But I am fighting to keep them at bay, and Jesus is fighting with me.

Miss anything? Nah. I'm beyond grateful for what I have.

Movement? I know this sounds crazy, but I SWORE I felt a tiny poke yesterday. We'll see. Can't wait!!!

Symptoms? I'll try to report just the most significant ones so that I have an accurate record of what was bothering me most and when. Right now it's backaches and tummy soreness more than anything else. Still some lingering nausea and definite fatigue from watching E all day!

Food cravings? Cheeseburgers all day every day. And goldfish crackers are the only thing that helps with the nausea.

Gender? At first I thought "this pregnancy is so different already, it must be a boy!" But I don't know...something in me seems to say girl. At least at this moment. But we'll see if that lasts!

Labor Signs? Nope!

Belly button in or out? Honestly, pretty out already. Can you believe that?

Mood? Elated. Exhausted. So happy.

Rituals? Prayers, prayers, and more prayers. Also, this baby's lullaby is "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You." Cheesy? Oh well!

Milestones? Entering the second trimester! Also, I got from one appointment to the next without freaking out...4 whole weeks! Sounds like nothing, but a big deal for me!

Looking forward to? T and I are taking a trip to Puerto Rico in a few weeks and that will be a blast! My parents will be staying here with E while we are gone, and I am already missing her, but it will be great to spend time with T by ourselves. Also, um, Christmas! And my 16-week appointment just before then.

And now for a few shots of my little buddy!