Freddie's Birth Story

I have been avoiding writing this post for obvious reasons, but I guess it's time. Frederick Thomas Holewczynski was born on 8/27, weighing 7 lbs. even, and has been such a blessing to us! But his birth was one of the most difficult times of my life.

I didn't sleep A WINK the night before delivery--I was just so anxious, my heart was racing and I couldn't calm down. Around 5 AM, I finally showered and got ready for the day. I woke Leenie up to say good bye, and she ended up waking up with me and snuggling on the couch. It was wonderful to have a buddy, and it definitely calmed my nerves a little!

We arrived at Hinsdale hospital around 5:30 AM, our first time delivering at this hospital. I can't really explain it, but I had a bad feeling. I didn't like my anesthesiologist at all. She was strange and off-putting and I was extremely unsettled going into the OR, even more so than usual.

They took me back to the OR which was a smaller room than I was used to. The anesthesiologist worked on my epidural FOREVER and kept scolding me to "sit still" while she dug around in my back. I kept jumping involuntarily because it hurt, I couldn't help it! After fifteen or so minutes I felt super ill and started to dry heave. She was incredibly annoyed, and it was such an unpleasant experience. Finally she got the epidural placed and laid me down on the table. Tim came in, and that helped so much.

We still hadn't fully decided on a name, though I really knew in my heart that he was a boy! I had mentioned Frederick as a possibility the day before. While I was being prepared for surgery, Tim whispered that he liked "Freddie 'ie,' like Freddie Freeman." We agreed, and a few minutes later, sweet Freddie was born!

The NICU doctor brought him over to me and I kissed his tiny hands, tears running down my cheeks. He was perfect. Pink and healthy, and big! I was so thrilled that he was such a good size for a 35.5 weeker! He was having some slight respiratory distress which they predicted, so they took him off to the NICU but were not overly concerned. Dr. Dorne let me know that my placenta came out without a problem, which she was thrilled about, so they closed me back up and brought me to recovery.

This part is hard to think about, and hard to fully remember. I know I begged Tim to let me FaceTime with my mom and the little kids to tell them about Freddie--we have that call recorded, but it's hard to watch. I didn't feel well, and I must have looked awful because Tim encouraged me to hang up the phone and rest. Then the nurses came in and saw that I was bleeding heavily. They started running around, which I knew was a bad sign, and one called for the triage cart. I started getting dizzy at this point, and fidgety, and squirming around. I couldn't fully understand what was happening, but I knew it wasn't good. Turns out I was experiencing an internal hemorrhage that they were unable to control no matter how hard they tried. They let me know that I was going back into surgery and quickly. Everyone looked so scared. I told Tim to kiss the kids for me and tell them I loved them in case the worst happened. My OB told me that they were going to do everything they could for me, but we had to act fast. I went under general anesthesia praying my rosary, not sure if I was going to wake up.

Thankfully I did. I woke up hours later in the ICU incredibly woozy but alive, and so grateful. I ended up needing about ten blood transfusions, three bags of iron, and three bags of plasma. I found out later that I also needed a hysterectomy, that it was the only way to stop the bleeding and save my life. I was devastated but of course I understood it was the only way.

The next day was focused on recovery and regaining my strength. My ICU nurse really pushed me to get up and start moving, which was hard, but I'm glad I did. After walking the halls a bit, I was allowed to go in and hold Freddie for the first time. Little did I know that I would practically be living in the NICU for those first few weeks. Freddie was on oxygen and tube feedings, but was doing great and tolerating everything well. My little champ. I held him and cuddled him as much as I possibly could. After a few days he went down to room air and I was allowed to nurse him. He latched right away and did amazing. He was the first baby I've had to leave in the hospital when I was discharged, which was heartbreaking. But he was in such great hands, and for that I'm so thankful.

Freddie was in the NICU for ten days before coming home. At that point, he had another SVT cardiac episode and went back to the NICU for another five days. All of the back and forth was exhausting, but today, Freddie, you are healthy and thriving. You're such a sweet boy and we all absolutely adore you. I thank God every day for your safe arrival--for delivering us from the pain of loss, for strengthening your tiny body and fortifying your special heart. I can't imagine our lives without you in it.

St. Frederik, pray for us!!!