The Waiting...

...is the hardest  part.

Yes it is Tom (& The Heartbreakers), yes it is.

First off, truly beautiful day. This should not go unnoticed, as Chicago has been experiencing some of the most yo-yo-iest (yep) weather this year that I have ever seen. Spring has (knock on wood) SPRUNG, I think, and that is making me so very happy.

Had a doctor appointment last night with a new G.I. doctor for tummy trouble that I thought was maybe related to my big complicated web of fertility issues. Well, turns out, it probably is. The doctor says I need to do a colonoscopy. I fight back when my husband calls me "grandma" for going to bed at 9:30 (sorry not sorry), buuuuuut I can't argue with the association that comes along with this. Dr. B thinks that the some of the rotten endometriosis that I worked so hard to get rid of is most likely still attached to my colon, causing painful stomach cramps around that time of the month. So, I will have a colonoscopy, and have that excised. I'm sorry if I just grossed everyone out. But I felt like I had to mention it, because, it's never just ONE thing, is it?! As my great R.E. Dr. C says, "it's easy to kill a man, but it's damn near impossible to kill a woman." I like that. Makes me feel stronger. But still, doesn't make any of this easy...or fun. Good news is, I can't have a colonoscopy while I'm TTC. Bad news is, as soon as AF rears her ugly head (UNLESS SHE DOESN'T, WHICH I FIRMLY BELIEVE IS A POSSIBILITY), I have to schedule the procedure...insult to injury at that point, but I will do what needs to be done. We're all "all in" at this point, aren't we? Tell us what's wrong and we will do our best to fix it, no matter the cost (financial, physical, or emotional). 

Doctor appointment this morning for follicular ultrasound, and a blessing! My husband was able to come for support, and I was so glad to have him there. He usually has to get to work earlier than me, so it's usually just me and mom. But it was nice seeing his smiling face across the room. I was HOPING to get the Ovidrel shot today, but no such luck. However, Dr. C says that the lining looks great--almost 7 mm. I also have two follicles that are still growing nicely, one at 15 mm, and the other at 14 mm. This makes sense, because all of the sudden it feels like I have two free weights inside my pelvis...I can FEEL the suckers growing. That doesn't usually happen, and I must admit, it's a strange (but good!) feeling. Bad news (not TOO bad but annoying to me) is that he said yes, things are moving a LITTLE slowly, but he is not concerned about it at all. I am impatient by nature, so I don't love that part, but I will suck it up. Good news is he says my bloodwork looks great, the follicles look great, the lining looks great, and my "window" should open up on Sunday! That means back to the Dr. on Monday morning to check things out one more time, and if all goes according to plan, SHOTINTHEBUTT. Can't wait, really!

And then, when I came home from the doc, I saw THIS little guy peeking out from underneath the mulch next to my house...

Hey, buddy! Where did you come from?! 

"Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!"

I also thought that this morning's meditation in Magnificat (St. Augustine) was great, and worth sharing, too.

Just a few more days...the waiting is the hardest part, every day you see one more card, you take in on faith, you take it to the heart, the waiting is the hardest part...

I got this. I can do it. Just a few more days.

Many many prayers for all of you this weekend...

xoxo,