6 Weeks?

Truthfully, I've just been too chicken to post lately. I'm nervous over every little twinge and pain, because I'm terrified of something going wrong. I know this isn't the right attitude, and so I'm trying to correct it. I'll let you in on what I've been up to lately.

Last Friday I stayed home from work for MORE bloodwork and an early ultrasound. Can't decide if this was a bad idea or a good one, but either way, what's done is done! The bloodwork came out fine, HCG rising and Progesterone is not perfect, but stable enough for now (this is probably gibberish to most of you)! I am on a progesterone supplement for the time being, and later this week I'll be switching to progesterone-in-oil shots twice weekly. THAT will be a joy! But I will do whatever I need to do to keep the little peanut safe. Early ultrasound didn't reveal much. With my HCG I THINK between 7-8,000 that day, there was a gestational sac visible but no fetal pole or heartbeat yet. This means that I am earlier than I thought I was, putting me right around 5 weeks at the time of the ultrasound when I thought I was 5w5d. Reasons for this could be late implantation/ovulation or somehow being off on my dates, which I don't think I am. Anyway, they told me that at this next ultrasound (Thursday) I should be able to SEE baby and hear a heartbeat. I absolutely cannot wait for that moment. I am praying the Rosary every night and asking my family to say a Novena to St. Anne. In a perfect world, Thursday will be the most amazing day of my life! And that's all I will say about it for now, because I am practicing wishful thinking!

This weekend Tim tried to distract me by taking me for a hike. I have been SUPER crampy for literally 4-5 weeks now, so moving around outside (in the hot sun) is not my favorite thing to do. But he knew that I needed to be distracted, and I love him for trying to make me feel better.

As you can maybe tell, it wasn't exactly a "hike," more like a tourist trip to Minnehaha Falls. Do you like my super fake smile compared to Tim's genuine I'm-having-so-much-fun-grin?! Really, it was lovely, and Tim is such a trooper even when I'm crabby!

As for this week, I am just patiently waiting for my ultrasound Thursday. I will let you all know what the results are, good or bad, and I will pick up where I left off and continue on whatever journey God has planned for me. Trusting in Him is difficult but it's the only way I can feel any peace! And for now, peace is all I need.

By the way, the girl you once knew:

...is gone. I can barely eat anything. EVERYTHING sounds good to me, but once I put it to my lips, no dice. Cravings are in full swing, but appetite has vanished. A strange combination, if you ask me.

BUT, doesn't stop THIS from happening: