23 Weeks...WOWIE WOWIE WOWZA!

**This is a pregnancy-related post, so please feel free to skip this post if you're not up for it. God bless.**

Wowie wowie wowza. I can’t explain what it feels like to be 23 weeks today, and ONE short week away from viability—a goal I have dreamt about for such a long time. Certainly the ultimate goal is bringing a happy, healthy, and hopefully full-term babe into this world…but to know that the child in my womb is THIS CLOSE to being able to survive outside of my body? Well, it’s just incredible. Indescribable, really. I’m in awe.

I hope everyone is having a great week so far! We had another busy one at the Holi house (see, I warned you that it would be busy busy busy from now until—forever)! T was away on business for the first half of last week, leaving my all by my lonesome, which is no fun. I did however get some quality time in with my mom and brother, so that was nice! Only to be interrupted by a little impromptu trip to Urgent Care…

Yes, that’s right, more ridiculous drama. Early last week I started having this pretty intense pain in the center of my chest, right on top of my sternum, and being the diligent patient that I am, I promptly informed my doc. He, being the no-nonsense guy that he is, told me that he “tends to take chest pain pretty seriously,” and instructed me to go to Urgent Care/the E.R. for some answers. Cue panic. So my mom and I headed to Urgent Care, only to be told that they would not take my insurance. They estimated my bill for a chest-related inquiry to be around…$3-400. Nope. So we considered the E.R., but that would have been another $150 co-pay. You’re probably thinking, “so?!” but let me explain why we did not feel the need to pay either of these large bills.

I can’t remember if I ever wrote about this, or to what extent if I did, but I’ve been having intermittent chest pains for a few years now. The first time I ever experienced this pain was the fall after I graduated from college, and it came upon me at a seemingly random time. I experienced it again on my honeymoon, twice, as well during my second pregnancy. So I am no stranger to this pain. Still, it has always concerned me, so when it crept up on me early in my second pregnancy, I decided to look into it a bit further. I had some blood tests done to rule out a pulmonary embolism, had an EKG, wore an event monitor for a whole month, AND had an echocardiogram—everything came back normal. So then what the heck was the pain?! A little something they like to call “costochondritis”: an inflammation of the cartilage that connects a rib to the breastbone (sternum). Not dangerous, and a specific cause often cannot be found, but pain does mimic that of a heart attack–lovely.

Anyway, I was pretty sure it was my old friend costochondritis sneaking back up on me for round four, but because your body is SO vulnerable during pregnancy and the stakes are so high, I did not want to take any chances. So I waited a bit, it did not go away, and I finally saw my doc yesterday. Yes, he confirmed through some painful pushing and prodding, that in fact it mostly likely IS costochondritis (I'm tired of typing that word!), but was glad he checked, “just in case.” Me too.

So why did I tell you that long, boring story, you might ask? I want to assure everyone out there that while I seem like a happy bubbly pregnant lady in many of my posts these days, I am NOT without my fears…rational or otherwise. This baby is the most precious gift I have ever received, and the mere thought of something terrible happening still sends me into a ridiculous frenzy of panic. I truly believe this is due to remnants of PTSD that I still carry from my two miscarriages. It might seem extreme, but I believe it to be the case for me. The trauma of my losses are still with me in a very real way. I expect it will continue to fade little by little, especially as my peanut grows into a beautiful bouncy baby, but still, it is a part of who I am. So, if any of you can relate to these fears in any way, I am sorry for you, but I completely understand.

ANYWAY! The costochrondritis seems like it is here to stay, along with some pretty killer heartburn, but I am managing both. Any tips from mom-vets out there are always much appreciated!

Back to the week/weekend!

Saturday, T and I drove up to Indiana to celebrate Miss Adelyn Grace’s baptism into the Catholic Church, and it was a beautiful celebration! The weather was lovely, the guest of honor looked adorable, and we had a terrific time. Check out this precious pic of the new godfather holding his new godchild:

Also had some pretty intense cravings this week, and I satisfied them in a big way. I know, I know, chocolate can cause heartburn…but coconut water is actually a natural remedy for heartburn so, I win?

I also took a pretty incredible video of my belly moving and shaking with little peanut inside, but I decided not to share it because my belly-button-piercing-scar is too gross. But suffice to say, I cannot stop watching this video. What is my little one doing in there?! I can’t help but smile whenever I think about it.

Onto the…BUMP!

How far along?  23 weeks, and 12 inches long! I seriously cannot believe how big that is (though not hard to believe when I look down at my ever-expanding tummy)!

Clothing? Maternity on the bottom, and about half pre-preg/half-maternity on top. But a bit depressed in this arena. Nothing fits like it used to, and I know I ain’t seen nothing yet! I did just order a maternity coat for the winter…but after shoving a pillow under my shirt and trying it on, I’m afraid that even THAT won’t fit soon!

Stretch marks? Nope!

Sleep? Eh, so-so this week. Hips feel strangely better all of the sudden, and not waking up to pee much these days…but I still toss and turn quite a bit.

Best moment of this week? BEING REUNITED WITH T, again! Seeing Ms. Adelyn enter the church! And feeling lots of AMAZING baby movement!!!

Worst moment of this week? Urgent Care drama. Oh well!

Miss anything? My husband, again! Other than that, I am pretty content these days.

Movement? Baby moved DRAMATICALLY more this week than she ever has! It was truly amazing!!! I don’t think I will ever get tired of watching my belly roll and shake. I hope this means that he/she likes to run/dance/play, just like mom and dad!

Symptoms? Fatigue, sore breasts, heartburn/indigestion, COSTOCHONDRITIS, random dizziness, rib pain, sore back/RLP, a BIG growing belly, Charlie horses, hip pain, terrible sinuses, and my linea nigra!

Food cravings? COCONUT WATER, constantly. Truffles. Twizzlers red licorice. And CHEESE!!!

Gender? I still think girl!

Labor Signs? No siree.

Belly button in or out? Super gross, and flat.

Wedding rings on or off? On, but fingers are swelling occasionally.

Mood? Still super happy, suuuuper clingy, and occasionally super grumpy at a moment’s notice!

Rituals? Nighttime lullaby, holy water on the belly in the morning, holy oil on the belly at night. And staring at my ultrasound pictures/watching the videos as often as I can!!!!! Along with routine bedtime chats.

Milestones? Knowing that I am ONE SHORT WEEK AWAY FROM VIABILITY!!!

Looking forward to? My 24-week appointment on Oct. 1, the same day as viability!!! Also, getting really excited for the fall/winter…holiday fun, and THREE baby showers coming up! Feeling so incredibly blessed!!!

This week's pregnancy-small-talk-gems (aka things other people say to pregnant ladies without thinking): A (very tiny) co-worker mentioned that “all of the sudden I look VERY preggie.” I know, I know, I’m being sensitive. I guess I just firmly believe that every comment towards a pregnant woman should start with “you look great!” regardless of whether or not it’s true, ha!

That’s all, folks! Many prayers for a terrific week!