Overjoyed

**This is a pregnancy-related post, so please feel free to skip this post if you're not up for it. I do not want anyone to feel unnecessarily sad or hurt, as I completely and 100% understand how that feels. God bless.**

"Overjoyed" --Stevie Wonder

This is the best way to describe how I feel right now. Overjoyed, overwhelmed, and so, SO grateful. My baby is alive and well. And even better...my baby now LOOKS like a baby!!!!!!

Of course, I would love her no matter WHAT she looked like. But just look at those little arms and legs! Just look!!!!!!!!! I could die of happiness right now!!!!!!!!!! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU JESUS and Mother Mary. I prayed for this, but I know that nothing is promised. I am so unworthy, but so grateful.

Peanut is measuring right on track, at exactly 8 weeks & 2 days, with a heart rate of 156 BPM. I am in awe, and FINALLY beginning to trust my body!!! I have always felt like I've trusted God (although it was very, VERY hard some days), but I have really struggled with trusting my own body. I've just recently realized that that is a contradiction--God made me in His image, and He loves all of his creation. I should feel the same way about myself as He does (if only, right?). And so, we are working on it. Baby steps. Dr. C put my odds of miscarriage at an all-time low of 2%, and so, I choose to believe that WE ARE REALLY HAVING A BABY.

T packed my lunch for me last night (aw), and left me this note to read this morning (of course, without knowing how things would go)...

So sweet, spooky, and amazing.

Symptoms are still so intermittent! But whatevs--I guess I will take it for now. What's NOT intermittent is my pooch, which is now hanging completely over my pants. I may have to let the cat out of the bag earlier than 12 weeks, which was my original plan. The only people that currently know are our families--no one else, except you guys! We'll see what this belly decides to do. And we'll see if God continues to pry open my stubborn heart with a crowbar (because that's what it took this time...really!).

I do want to log ONE symptom, while I can still remember it: THE DREAMS. They have been so wild. Last night was a particularly wild one.

I was getting ready for my appt., but I decided that I needed to go into the city first to get my make-up (?). So I hopped on a razor scooter and took to the highway...by the time I looked at my watch, it was already 2:00! I hadn't made the appt. or called into work! So I decided to reschedule. So I get back on my scooter, stop by a parking garage to pick up my brother and sister (naturally), and head to the doctor. By the time I got there, I was stuck outside near the back of the office which was simultaneously a McDona.ld's drive-thru and a wildlife reserve. Snakes, lizards, and a RED OWL! Crazy. I walk and try to find my doc, but his office is combined with a bridal salon and girls are trying on dresses everywhere. Including a friend from college, with a bunch of other college girls in tow!!! I said hello to everyone, and then went to do my exam. In a bridal-style dressing room. My doc walks in, tells me to put on a medical-gown, and I walk back in to find him ALSO in a gown. Hmm. Then he asks me if I'm ready for the "big reveal." Then the dream cuts!!! A few minutes later I have a follow-up dream that a guardian angel is in my bedroom over my right shoulder, telling me that everything will be fine. I didn't look, but knew it was my grandma. How crazy!!! And you know what? She was right!!!!!!!!!

Peanut, I love you so much already. TO THE MOON AND BACK. I am so honored that your dad and I will get to be your parents. Thank you for choosing us, and for GROWING, and being so PRECIOUS and AMAZING!!!

I'll end with another personal fave that applies to my mood today...because I feel like dancing, and smiling, and being happy. I pray that all of you feel this same joy today.