Fuzzy Head

The sun is shining this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, that's a good start.

I am on Day 5 of this crazy wonder-drug we call Clomid. I feel veeeeery sleepy, very headachey. Kind of "cloudy" and fuzzy-headed. Easter weekend was a little tough--lots of babies, and pregnancy, and baby talk, and pregnancy talk, in addition to other long conversations with beloved relatives that I just couldn't quite stay plugged into. Several relatives asked my husband in private if I was "okay," meaning, "why is your wife being so quiet and strange?!" I tried my best not to be ZombieEmily, but, I guess I didn't do such a great job. I wish I could have explained to them why my eyes were glazing over thirty seconds into our "hellos." It was not personal, I promise! Even though they didn't exactly understand, I hope they can forgive my zonked-ness.

But no hot flashes! Praise God. No nausea or significant stomach cramping, either. So I call that a win. I expect I will get my brain back sometime later this week (or maybe never, who knows). But I'm doing fine without it, really. Talking to me might not be 'fireworks' right now but hey, that's what knock-knock jokes are for (I've memorized tons for exactly these kinds of days). And if anyone at work has noticed, they haven't mentioned it. Maybe brainless is how the world likes me (aside from my in-laws, that is)!

For the rest of the week, I will be in the business of distracting myself. From obsessive Googling, obsessive thinking, obsessive symptom-checking, etc. Ignorance is bliss...so, I'll do my best to be ignorant. How often in life is THAT your chore?! I'm ready to give it a go.

How do you ladies distract yourself in the midst of crazy medicated cycles? How do you relax and take your mind off of TTC when you are in the thick of it? Suggestions welcome!

Yesterday I finally received my SoulCore DVD, and I went through the work-out for the first time. If you need an avenue to release tension and at the same time strengthen your spirituality, I highly recommend this. The DVD takes you through yoga stretching while praying the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary. It is beautiful, and spiritual, and even helps you work up a bit of a sweat! I had never thought of linking prayer to physical movement before, but it was a really relaxing and spiritual experience. I came away from the work-out with a sense of peace and physical wellness--it even temporarily relieved me of my migraine! Anyway, if you are looking to be distracted, like I am, I recommend giving this a try. We all need excuses to pray the Rosary more often!

So that's my distraction, for now. That's all I've got. Praying and stretching and trying to stay awake. CD6 follicular ultrasound tomorrow. Lots of grapefruit juice and Mucinex. Pineapple waiting in the fridge. Fish oil tablets in the cabinet. My husband is now taking Spirulina tablets in addition to his Multivitamin, to help with his lack of green veggies. My head is full of cotton balls and radio static.

Silver lining...in less than two months, I will be 26. My husband has agreed that, after my birthday, we can open up the adoption discussion. He told me last night (though he refuses to discuss this in-depth until June, fair is fair) that he is open to the idea, but he needs to pray about it more, because he is overwhelmed by it. I do understand. He is also very intimidated by the financial aspect, and that is my greatest fear for him--that he will not be able to get over the price tag. Any of you ladies who have adopted, if any of you have super frugal husbands, how did you approach this topic with your husband? Helping a child in need/growing our families should never be stunted by our finances, though for so many of us, it is a real obstacle. Have any of you considered fund-raising, or grants, etc.? I suppose this is a better question for June. Still, never hurts to have your ducks in a row.

I am clearly all over the place today. One more pill, and then I'm droppin' the mic on Clomid. But I have faith in God's plan for this cycle, I really do. Prayers are greatly appreciated, and know that you are in mine.

Happy TOOZdee!

xoxo,