35 Weeks! Oh Baby!

35 WEEKS, can you believe it?! I have another rare moment on a Sunday to update, so I thought I would take advantage of it. T decided to walk to church with Ei in her wagon (which she LOVES), so I have approximately...15 minutes or so...to recap a tough week.

Tough being a relative term, of course.

Weeeee! (And T multitasking)

Exploring the yard...

...and stopping to snack on some bushes.

Because, of course, even my "tough weeks" include all of the above things, so it feels wrong to call them tough, per say.

But still, because many of you are mamas, I feel certain that you can relate to this sentiment.

Don't let that face fool ya!

Grumpy at lunch.

Reading one of our favorites...

...nakey! (Pre-bath time)

We call this the Frankenstein walk (also notice the one sock fashion statement).

Our new flap book!

Despite those smiles you see above, Eileen was just..."off" this week. Whiny, crabby, difficult, tantrum-y (is that a word?), and just not herself. And I do not think I handled it well. By that, I mean simply that I think I let it get to me a little too much. I was not as patient as I normally was, nor was I as resilient as I've come to be (don't laugh, mom...I really have gotten better!). Instead, I found myself constantly frustrated and worn out by moods I was seemingly unable to control. Because of this, I went back on many of my "rules"...no pacifier except for nap time/bedtime, for example. Along with the "no TV until after afternoon naps" rule. There was plenty of pacifier/TV time to be had this week. And (of course my pregnancy hormones are chiming in a bit here, too)...I felt like a big time loser.

You see, I think this was the first week I really felt like...HOLY COW, how the heck am I gonna manage weeks like this with TWO kids?! I know, I know, many of you are smiling and laughing. Women all over the world are managing far more with far less resources. And deep down, I know that I will "manage," too. But still. I just felt so...scared! And defeated! And doubtful! And worthless!

You could say that I earned that four (yes, four) Krispy Kreme donuts that I ate throughout the course of the week.

Anyway, once I crawled out from underneath my rock of self-pity and took a good look at myself in the mirror (in addition to having a great life-decision-affirming talk with my own mom), I realized that a) I WILL BE, AND ALREADY AM, FINE and b) it's okay to feel like this every once in awhile.

Being a mom is hard. But for me, not being a mom was unbearable. And I never want to convey anything less than that. In a hundred lifetimes, in a million different realities, on a zillion different planets, I would choose this life. Again and again, I would do things exactly the same way. But that doesn't guarantee you peace, or serenity, or sanity on any given day. And that's okay. Because what do we do? We carry on. Simple as that. And I, like every other woman who ever was, will carry on.

I mean, really, can you stand it?!

So, while that all may seem very dramatic, I just wanted to document this moment in my life and in my journey of motherhood. I want to remember, so that I can properly advise and recall to Eileen some day, and preserve my own memory of course, that yes, I struggled with the one thing I wanted more than anything. But then, I carried on, and life became more and more beautiful with each passing day. Because I am richly blessed by a God who has allotted me far more than my portion. And I will never, never be worthy of the riches I have already received.

So, SO grown up!

"The castle that Nana built."

Pure mischief.

And so, onto the fun stuff...

Getting bigger by the minute!

How far along?  35 weeks and 30 DAYS UNTIL MY DUE DATE! Holy cow. It's really coming!

Clothing? I am down to about 4-5 shirts that fit over my belly. So that's cute!

Stretch marks? This is the week in E's pregnancy where the stretch marks finally appeared! Haha! Little did I know what I was in for.

Sleep? Still sleeping, but waking up frequently with SUPER sore hips. Although I did get a mini 15-minute massage this week and that seemed to help a little!

Best moment of this week? Great talks and quality time with my mom, getting into "Curb Your Enthusiasm" with T (so raunchy, but so so funny), and getting to RELAX a bit at the spa last night (massage and facial)! And, of course, time with my babies, no matter how stressed I might've been feeling!

Worst moment of this week? Tough week, but then again, not so tough after all.

Miss anything? Nah.

Movement? Yes, still rockin' and rollin'! Movements have decreased a bit, but I know it's due to Sunny's size. I can feel it when he stretches out, and I KNOW he's big. So I feel okay about this. Still, enjoying every poke and wiggle!

Symptoms? Achy  hips and pelvis,  sore tummy and the occasional pulled muscle, breast tenderness, increased hunger, and this is a fun one...a few dark marks and broken blood vessels on my face. Lovely! Oh, and can no longer feasibly shave my legs without making terrible grunting/stretching noises and risking my life in the shower. Just in time for Spring. Great!

Food cravings? Yes (that's a general yes to all food), and I've been paying for it on the scale. Oh well. No energy to care.

Gender? I woke up this week and felt BOY. Like, for real. I really think I'm having a boy. I know nothing about little boys!!!

Labor Signs? MAJOR and constant BH's, but no, no labor.

Belly button in or out? OUT .

Mood? This week, stressed. But this weekend, calmer and certainly grateful. 

Milestones? Baby is getting better at regulating her internal temperature, and is shedding her lanugo in preparation for birth! No more little furry baby! Um also, it is officially BABY MONTH!!!

Looking forward to? Ei's appointment tomorrow, my appointment on Tuesday, a hopefully warmer week of weather, and um...Sunny's birthday!!!!

This week's pregnancy-small-talk-gems (aka things other people say to pregnant ladies without thinking): The aesthetician last night told me that it literally looked like I had a basketball under my shirt. I think that's a compliment (assuming she didn't mean that I also had basketballs hidden elsewhere on my body)? 

Notes from doctor’s appointment: I’ll let you know next week! 

Thanks for reading, friends! Happy Sunday!